It’s a everyday life

My eyes even though they have erased you

You have been out of sight since so long

my steps still seeks for you

it’s good to hear your voice, it makes me re-live

since it’s you, I’m alright

I feel alive


In the midnight, there I lay wide awake in my bed

staring at the ceiling with eyes filled with tears


The waves of everyday life can erase your presence

but can’t remove you from my memory

images (1)

Image Courtesy: Google

Copyright © 2018 Nirja Gelal, Beans, Pen & Nirja – All Rights Reserved


It’s a good Bye Kiss

It was nearly dusk when I left for bus station. On my way, the chilly wind of the december winter moved my hair every time I tried to put it behind my ears.  I was tired of trying so I left the air play with my hair. Rather than tired, I was devastated with myself that I didn’t want to do anything. The grief of my life always follows me like a shadow.

I was there sitting alone in between the crowd of many strangers. I was looking continuously towards the way from which the bus would come.

Then, suddenly I felt his presence besides me. Suddenly I was all teary with my heart filled out when he sat right next to me. I couln’t bear to look at him. We faced other side.

He then held my hand with both of his and I could not stop myself from crying. We cried for a while by ownself while facing the ground, hands held more tightly.

After a while, he held my head toward his chest and let me hear his heartbeat for one more time. I grabbed his collar. He leaned towards me and kissed my forehead and that was the departure. The parting of our ways.

He then stood up and eventually left. As I see him pass by, I was only passenger left to get on the bus which was waiting for me.


Image Courtesy: Google

Copyright © 2018 Nirja Gelal, Beans, Pen & Nirja – All Rights Reserved


Something about us 💕🌹😍

Me : Close your eyes.


All dressed up !


Me : How do I look ?

Someone : As like, you can be seen with closed eyes.


Ah ! Giggles


Me : Open your eyes now.

Someone : It’s like my life is just a step ahead.


Lost in his eyes.


Image Courtesy: Google

Copyright © 2018 Nirja Gelal, Beans, Pen & Nirja – All Rights Reserved


It’s forever our_“what if” story

Don’t touch me, don’t ever come close to me

tears  that are twisted and turned

just like raindrops

I’m sending them away

with a hurting smile on me

but my step doesn’t move

may be because my heart in on immense pain

it aches and even though, I try to smile


My love is a lie which I embraced again

but the ache in my heart doesn’t heal

I love you

my heart cries one more time only for you


I have been waiting, you are in my dream memory

tell me, how do I look from there

can you reach out your hands  to me

can you wipe my grief

once again I dream in vain,

just longing for you

can’t you be on my side, if its even just for one more time

this hopeless heart, what am I going to do with it


A same dream, an unfamiliar face, you and I meet by chance

I guess I was little terrified, I’m afraid it will be a dream forever


My heart has been wandering around

the fated bond will definitely continue, we ‘ll meet again

when the wish lanterns float above the sea,

I will take it as a signal that we’re to meet again over the waves


Image Courtesy: Google

Copyright © 2018 Nirja Gelal, Beans, Pen & Nirja – All Rights Reserved


Exhausted with my feelings for you

It’s so weird, to crave for you

still every single night

and truthfully you’d have no idea

your memories  doesn’t let me sleep

a whisper in the darkness at night keeps me awake,

is that you ?

those  nights when I’m in my bed for sleep

but ends  up wide awake besides  your thoughts

your memories  break the darkness so hard

and I get some scratches from the broken pieces of darkness

memories are alive but inside I am dead long ago

since I adored cold I was in love with the winter

you have been warm feeling in my life

but you eventually left

leaving behind burning memories to cherish

that burst me every time I tried to feel for you



I have a feeling,

one fine morning, if I didn’t wake up

will you come by my side and love me  again

Here’s an empty feeling, screaming enough

lost in some moments even not knowing who’d wake me up



Our memories alone have not burnt me enough

will I ever be able to move finally to myself

Like a wild beat of my heart for you

I keep on chasing you

I am now exhausted with my feelings  for you


Image Courtesy: Google

Copyright © 2018 Nirja Gelal, Beans, Pen & Nirja – All Rights Reserved






Forever in love with you

I was good at being alone

I never thought I would

I mean, I had the capability to fall

But your smile made it come true

It feels so good to be in love

It feels amazing

Whilest I even confessed

And the better reaction

You do too

What could I ask for life after then

And like a regular life story

Not everything comes easily

We love each other

Care for us

Wanna smile yet can’t be together

What could be more heart breaking than this

Forever in love

But not together forever for life

We cantbe together

But I cant get over you

You helped me to feel love

Shall I smile and cherish this moment

Should I cling into you, still knowing its going to hurt me and shatter my heart

Or be sad since now only, as I know our end story,

Forever is never forever

My happiness and sadness both exists together with you

This feeling, actually kills

Every time

And just like a picture frame, you are in front of my eyes

what shall I do

The tragedy is we are so in love

And its harder to get over this feeling

How I am self contained

Even without your presence

Why is it that you are everywhere


There is a void in me

which make my heart skip

This is a feeling, with no end and expression


Forever in love

Yet not together


Image Courtesy: Google

Copyright © 2018 Nirja Gelal, Beans, Pen & Nirja – All Rights Reserved


The Versatile Blogger Award_I_II_III_2018


Greetings everyone !!!

Thank you https://pensitivity101.wordpress.com/, for nominating me for The Versatile Blogger Award, I am honored 💞.

I also like to thank Naiem Ur Rehman, for nominating me 💞.

Thank you Sana Mahin, for nomination 💞.

All three have beautiful blog and is really wonderful, please have a look, I bet you wont stop yourself from appreciating.

Thank yo so much for your support guys 💞

The Versatile Blogger Award?

The Versatile Blogger Award is the best of the ‘chain letter’ awards out there in the blogosphere.

If you are nominated, you’ve been awarded the Versatile Blogger award.

  • Thank the person who gave you this award. That’s common courtesy.
  • Include a link to their blog. That’s also common courtesy — if you can figure out how to do it.
  • Finally, tell the person who nominated you 7 things about yourself.


   7 Random Facts about me 💞 💞 💞 

  1. I have a dream to have a holiday on cruise, which I had since my childhood and till now, I am still dreaming to be on cruise. I love to see snow, again a dream since childhood, still couldn’t see.
  2. Making me feel unwanted is the feeling that takes me to the depression and I don’t like it at all.
  3. I am ice cream addicted actually. Most of my friends know about this trait of me.
  4. I love to watch romantic Korean dramas and movies which are rich in romantic tales, sometimes sad and sometimes happy romantic.
  5. I love you, Yes I, do to the maximum limit and if I don’t, I am sorry I don’t care about you any more. Whatever I do its always on a maximum limit, there is no middle ground thing for me.
  6. I love to get wet in rain and see the drizzling rain, am I stupid ?
  7. I hurt myself to be with those whom I love and still knowing the fact they don’t deserve. I always want to preserve any relationship I am connected with, even its hurting me deep inside.


Happy blogging!


nirja 💞 


Happy Mother’s Day

She’s always there by my side when life’s a bit unfair, when I’m all down, blue and torn

She picks me up and pushes me through, to make me laugh when I’m mad, to comfort when I’m sad

She is a friend who never misses any chance to show her care and affection

She is never busy to understand when I need her love and her hold

She pushes all other things aside, so that my needs won’t be denied

Love you MOM ♥ ♥ 


Copyright © 2018 Nirja Gelal, Beans, Pen & Nirja – All Rights Reserved



A Broken Song

Beans, Pen & Nirja

I admit I really tried

to recall my own image of past,

but it was difficult to my mind

I failed every time,

with enough struggle, however there is dull remembrance of myself

sometimes, just learned the harder way

There is enough hurt

absolutely broken,

I’m one of those beautifully broken song,

either cherish me as a memory

or just let me blown away as a handfull of sand

When I see myself,

its like my life can neither be fixed nor be scattered

wounds, injured souls, its life

nothing can break the bond of pain

the traces are still the same

Each morning when I wake up

I realize, a part of me in yesterday is already dead

I donot know, how to describe,

I dnt have the particular word,

may be the right word will find me someday,

but, I hope, it will not be too late


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